I’ve tried all types of different therapies to try to push through to the next level of healing. There are certain patterns that have jumped out at me, from my experiences and those of people sharing a similar journey. It may be a controversial opinion among the healing and coaching community, but I have trouble with programs focused on mindset work, or transformational healing or coaching that takes place in a very short amount of time and work together.

Folks with chronic illness go through long periods of extreme stress, and often medical trauma as well. I can see how quick bouts of intense coaching to shift limiting beliefs can be helpful for some people, but I don’t believe that it can work and have long-lasting impact when someone is carrying trauma with them. Chronic stress and trauma cause the nervous system and the survival brain to malfunction and become hyper vigilant, so in this scenario, it is your whole body and strong messages from your survival brain urging you not to move forward, urging you to stay where you are, stay with what you know. You get stuck. Have you ever felt like that?

Survival mode is awful, but often it’s what we come to know, and we know how to function there. We don’t know what’s going to be waiting on the other side. I say “we”, but this is usually a completely subconscious process. It’s not something we’re doing actively – there’s just a strong sense of anxiety and resistance to moving forward, no matter how badly we want to, or how hard we’re trying. When well-meaning mindset and transformational coaches attempt to push through these blocks quickly and forcefully, it’s not going to feel safe to your survival brain – and survival brain is strong, baby.

I believe that the first step is regulating the nervous system and helping the body and brain come back out of fight or flight (while continuing to work with your doctors of course). Bringing your nervous system back to a baseline of calm and safety will have immediate effects on anxiety, mood, and even physical symptoms. It also prepares you to be able to do the emotional work of processing stressful or traumatic events that were just shoved down, and understandably, because you can’t process things well when you’re in survival mode. Assuming, of course, that you’re ready and want to do that emotional work. But peeling back those layers and processing stuck emotions will jumpstart your healing and bring you into a better quality of life than you can probably imagine right now.

That’s not to say that it’s easy. Processing stuck emotions and trauma is…a lot. It’s not something that happens overnight, which is why I strongly advise having long-term support in place as you’re healing. Personally, I’ve found that the combination of both a therapist and a coach who understands the nervous system has been crucial for my own healing. The right therapist is going to gently guide you through processing memories and feelings, while a coach may help with supporting the nervous system and calming anxiety that arises, finding how best to balance life while doing this emotional work, and take gentle care of yourself during this time.

This is why I feel strongly about bringing nervous system support into my coaching practice, and why I don’t often do one-off sessions. Learning the skills and techniques that attune to your nervous system, understanding and learning to read and address the different states takes time and practice (see graphic below). But they’re honestly life-changing. I’ve seen it both in myself and my clients, as well as others in the chronic illness community that I’ve seen embrace this work. Unfortunately, I’m still finding it really difficult to find therapists under insurance, even trauma therapists, that fully integrate nervous system work into therapy sessions – and this is why I have a therapist AND other support specifically for somatic healing and nervous system work. We need both sides of the coin: brain and body.

I’ve got some new programs coming out in the next couple of months, one of which will be focused on a Nervous System Reset based on the Polyvagal theory above and bringing individualized exercises to regulate your own nervous system. I’m excited to bring these in and share the tools that have helped me and others so much.

If you’d like to be first to know enrollment opens for new programs, or you’re interested in seeing more blog posts on topics like this, drop your email in the form below and I’ll keep you updated!

Wishing you best in your healing always,

Coach Becca